Tuesday, 21 January 2014

Separation Shield: An Open Letter to our Customers

Dear Valued Customer,

Stay-Feart! - The hi-tech "Separation Shield© ® ™

Tired of dealing with unwanted convincing arguments in favour of Independence?

Fed up with the carping of Common Weal backers, the whining of Wings Over Scotland sympathisers and the nattish nonsense of Newsnet Scotland?

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into a cool cat.

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By expertly filtering out all pro-separatist comment those anti-unionist blues will be banished forever. You can rest assured that all you will ever see or hear on the internet, be it in media platforms or in your email inbox, is pure, unadulterated, Westminster approved vacuity, as delivered by respected, captivating public speakers such as Alistair 'D-List' Darling or Gordon 'Zzzzz list' Brown.

Embrace Enervation, Snuggle up to Stagnation, Reject Reason. Our Separation-Shield © ® ™ is available now. Get it before it's too late!!

Yours in fear,

The Scaremonger