Thursday, 23 May 2013

T.A.M. The Acronym Machine

 Acronym Agony Solved

No more struggling to find that perfect acronym now that our crack team of boffins has perfected this high tech solution. Simply punch in the wordor name you want to use and the T.A.M generates the perfect acronym. Recent examples include;

TAVISH SCOTT - Twists Any Victory Into Sweeping Humiliation. Some Call Out Total Turnip
DARLING - Does Anyone Really Listen? It's Nonsensical Guff.
JACKIE BAILLIE - Joins Every Calumny Keenly. In Errors Bluster And Insanity Loom Large. Inevitably Excruciating.
FARAGE -Fool Arrives. Runs Away Grasping Excuses.
LAMONT- Looks Always Miserable On National Triumphs
MOORE - Muddy Opinions Or Repeated Excuses
SARWAR - Seriously! Any Rubbish Will Always Repeat
ED MILIBAND - Egregious Discourse. Mendacious Idiocy. Leader Is Benefits Axeman. Nefarious Dogmatism
JOHANN LAMONT - Joyless. Obviously Hopeless. Asinine Negativity. Nightmare Leadership. Apes Most Odious Neo-Thatcherites.

T.A.M. is available by special order only*

*price on application

Wednesday, 22 May 2013

Where's The Beef?

Opening soon...

The Scaremonger Bistro

Set menu for a newly Separate Scotland.

* Sullen Skink

Main courses
* Aberdeen Angus (T)rump Special - overdone, hormone-injected.
* Half-baked Lamont Sole.
* Succulent Lamb.
* Milk & Honey

Er, that's it.