Saturday, 20 June 2015

Labour Leadership Kit


With nominations now closed The Scaremonger is pleased to announce that we can now supply our exclusive 
"Labour Leadership Kit" 

No would-be Labour leader will want to try and tackle this most thankless of tasks without the best possible advice and equipment. The Scaremonger "Labour Leadership Kit" includes a range of helpful items including;

  • Parliamentary Invisibility Cloak
  • Map of  Nowheresville and Shit Creek County
  • Canoe (no paddles included)
  • No picnic
  • Set of Lang Spoons
  • Brown Trousers
  • Snakeskin Gloves
  • Poison Chalice
  • Pack of Cards with additional jokers
  • Tin Ear
  • Key to a darkened room
  • Pair of incompetence pants
  • A New Broom with replaceable head and handle
  • A stab proof frontless vest
  • Union Tie (optional)
  • An unused policy forum
  • Knee protectors
  • Copy of the "Jim Murphy Guide to Electoral Success"
  • Laminated copy of the Scottish Labour Westminster MP Group directory