Wednesday, 3 March 2021

In Stock!
Order today to guarantee disappointment.

The "Jackie Baillie" Classic Ear Defender

The "Jackie Baillie" ear defender utilises our latest scaremonger technology to block out any unwanted answers.
Wearing our ear defenders you'll be safe from hearing coherent explanations, letting you plough on with your scheduled outrage.

Made in our dedicated production facility on the banks of Gareloch the Jackie Baillie ear defender is finished in a choice of colours, unconvincing red or subtle blue.

These unique ear defenders also have a built-in glow in the dark function operated at the flick of a red button, and an integrated Geiger counter for extra safety.

  "It's Health and Safety gone mad"


Friday, 30 August 2019

Get Ready For Brexit - Exclusive

Get Ready For Brexit - World Exclusive

The Scaremonger can bring you a first look at the UK Government's new £100m "Get Ready For Brexit" campaign. The campaign will bring the "Precious Union"© closer together by summoning up the Agincourt, Cartegena, Saratoga and Suez spirit that saw our "Family of Nations"© through more world wars than you can shake a Pearly King or Queen at.  

Monday, 27 May 2019

New! - "ColourMyWay" Election Correction Eyewear

These Amazing  Glasses Could Change Your Outlook On Politics Forever!

New from the Scaremonger Technology Workshops! 

These amazing glasses will change everything. Endorsed by "popular" leader of the Conservatives in Scotland, Ruth "Tank Commander" Davidson, the Scaremonger "ColourMyWay" Eyewear range provides a stylish alternative to facing up to reality.

Put on your "ColourMyWay" glasses and instantly the world looks the way you'd like it to be.  "ColourMyWay"  is already working for top Tories who don't want to face up to the truth of the SNP's victory in the 2019 Euro Elections and it could soon be working for you too. 
Book your free trial today!


Sunday, 10 March 2019

New from the Scaremonger Home Collection....

The "Theresa May speaking clock"

Push the button on the "Theresa May speaking clock" and you'll hear the strong and stable tones of the Prime Minister provide a real-time update from the home of time itself, Westminster, in the heart of London.

This new stylish clock from the Scaremonger Home Collection is sure to appeal to anyone with an interest in horological innovation and the latest digital technology.

The "Theresa May speaking clock" will not be available in any shops but you can pre-order it now in our online store.

Monday, 2 July 2018

Dark Clouds Ahead - Coming Soon

Coming soon from Scaremonger Books

A new collection from Scotland's foremost political and economic soothsayer. An antidote to the baseless optimism of the proponents of independence Gordon Browns insights illuminate the desperate future facing Scotland if it chooses to leave "the most successful political union in history".

Register now for the opportunity to pre-order an advance extract from this forthcoming Bargain Books slow seller.

Saturday, 16 June 2018

The Gordon Brown Alarm Clock

Traditionally styled and with an enduring character redolent of another age the "Gordon Brown" alarm clock from the new Scaremonger Home range will appeal to anyone who worries about missing important "brownouncements".

Unique features of the "Brown" model include;

  • Pre-set annual alarm for "Brown Day"
  • Available in "Faded Red", "Moody Blue" and "Doomsday Grey"
  • Nuclear tipped glow-in-the-dark hands
  • Permanently set at 3 minutes to midnight
  • Clever unhinged rear panel for easy access
  • Classic unbalanced bells for unmissable discordant alerts
  • Multiple easy to change faces
Pre-orders for this stylish piece will be delivered in time for next "Brown Day" 

Faded Blue

Doomsday Grey

Thursday, 14 June 2018

Now in Stock for 2018

Introducing the latest *Sewel Approved All Purpose "Power Grab"

Don't miss out on this amazing new product from the Scaremonger. 

Just apply as required, wait for a maximum of 15 minutes and your power hold is secure.