Friday, 30 August 2019

Get Ready For Brexit - Exclusive

Get Ready For Brexit - World Exclusive

The Scaremonger can bring you a first look at the UK Government's new £100m "Get Ready For Brexit" campaign. The campaign will bring the "Precious Union"© closer together by summoning up the Agincourt, Cartegena, Saratoga and Suez spirit that saw our "Family of Nations"© through more world wars than you can shake a Pearly King or Queen at.  

Monday, 27 May 2019

New! - "ColourMyWay" Election Correction Eyewear

These Amazing  Glasses Could Change Your Outlook On Politics Forever!

New from the Scaremonger Technology Workshops! 

These amazing glasses will change everything. Endorsed by "popular" leader of the Conservatives in Scotland, Ruth "Tank Commander" Davidson, the Scaremonger "ColourMyWay" Eyewear range provides a stylish alternative to facing up to reality.

Put on your "ColourMyWay" glasses and instantly the world looks the way you'd like it to be.  "ColourMyWay"  is already working for top Tories who don't want to face up to the truth of the SNP's victory in the 2019 Euro Elections and it could soon be working for you too. 
Book your free trial today!


Sunday, 10 March 2019

New from the Scaremonger Home Collection....

The "Theresa May speaking clock"

Push the button on the "Theresa May speaking clock" and you'll hear the strong and stable tones of the Prime Minister provide a real-time update from the home of time itself, Westminster, in the heart of London.

This new stylish clock from the Scaremonger Home Collection is sure to appeal to anyone with an interest in horological innovation and the latest digital technology.

The "Theresa May speaking clock" will not be available in any shops but you can pre-order it now in our online store.

Monday, 2 July 2018

Dark Clouds Ahead - Coming Soon

Coming soon from Scaremonger Books

A new collection from Scotland's foremost political and economic soothsayer. An antidote to the baseless optimism of the proponents of independence Gordon Browns insights illuminate the desperate future facing Scotland if it chooses to leave "the most successful political union in history".

Register now for the opportunity to pre-order an advance extract from this forthcoming Bargain Books slow seller.

Saturday, 16 June 2018

The Gordon Brown Alarm Clock

Traditionally styled and with an enduring character redolent of another age the "Gordon Brown" alarm clock from the new Scaremonger Home range will appeal to anyone who worries about missing important "brownouncements".

Unique features of the "Brown" model include;

  • Pre-set annual alarm for "Brown Day"
  • Available in "Faded Red", "Moody Blue" and "Doomsday Grey"
  • Nuclear tipped glow-in-the-dark hands
  • Permanently set at 3 minutes to midnight
  • Clever unhinged rear panel for easy access
  • Classic unbalanced bells for unmissable discordant alerts
  • Multiple easy to change faces
Pre-orders for this stylish piece will be delivered in time for next "Brown Day" 

Faded Blue

Doomsday Grey

Thursday, 14 June 2018

Now in Stock for 2018

Introducing the latest *Sewel Approved All Purpose "Power Grab"

Don't miss out on this amazing new product from the Scaremonger. 

Just apply as required, wait for a maximum of 15 minutes and your power hold is secure.

Wednesday, 8 June 2016

Forth Bridge Shock Announcement



The Scottish Government have finally admitted that the new Forth Crossing will be delayed by up to six months but only the Scottish Scaremonger is prepared to reveal the real reasons for the delay.

Our research has proven beyond doubt that far from being intended to create a vital link between the deprived communities of Fife and the vibrant cultural and economic heartland of North Britain in the Lothians the Scottish Government is secretly planning to extend the bridge for a further 410 miles and create a direct link between Scotland and France in the event of a Leave vote in the #EUref this month.

In the event of a #Brexit vote on the 23rd June the Scottish Government intend to give the green light to an ambitious plan to circumvent the consequences of a Leave vote and keep Scotland connected directly with the heart of the world's largest trading block.

As a high level motorway with no exits the new extended crossing will enable Scots to drive directly from North Queensferry to Calais for the first time. 

The extended Queensferry Crossing would also be renamed to reflect it's new role but a Scottish Government source denied that the First Minister had suggested Bridgey McBridgeFace as a possibility.