Monday, 9 February 2015

The Murphy Announce-A-Tron

The "Murphy" Announce-A-Tron

  • Instant Policy Initiatives!
  • Any Topic Big or Small!
  • 24/7 Operation!
  • Fool-proof Operating System!

The new "Murphy" Announce-A-Tron provides a simple and reliable solution to all your policy initiative and promotion problems. 

Utilising the latest patented "tory-tech" technology the "Murphy" Announce-A-Tron can generate unlimited policy initiatives.

A bespoke range of settings put you in control of the quantity and quality of your "Murphy" Announce-A-Tron policy pronouncements.  


Choose  from the following policy initiative types;

  • Retread
  • Borrowed
  • Comical
  • Pointless
  • Plagiarised
  • Opportunistic
  • Cauld Kale
  • Daft Laddie
  • Fictional
  • Ambiguous
  • Disingenuous
  • Tsunami
  • Patriotic
  • Idiotic
  • Yes. We have no bananas

All "Murphy" Announce-A-Tron policy pronouncements are fully "Record" compliant and  "BBC ready".

For more information about the "Murphy" Announce-A-Tron see tomorrow's newspapers!

Monday, 2 February 2015

Festival of Vow

Sign up now for our new annual festival - "Groundhog Vow Day"

Each year on February 2nd the Scottish Scaremonger will be organising a "Festival of Vow", a family-of-nations friendly opportunity for Labour party spokespeople to have a fresh stab at making a convincing promise to deliver something they don't believe in really.

The full programme for the inaugural "Festival of Vow" will released in a blaze of publicity sometime after the General Election but will include a range of seminars including;

  • "Making it Up: Vows for Beginners"
  • "Obscurity and Vagueness: Advanced Vow Making"
  • "Tough Luck Suckers: Post Vow Strategies"

Pre-Registration for this unmissable event now open.

#GroundhogVow #FestivalofVow