Pubic Relations Triumph!

Scare Scotland Associates

Public Affairs Consultants

- Case Study - Ruth Davidson Party 

Our new Public affairs and public relations arm "Scare Scotland Associates" has registered it's first big score with a successful strategy which has turned the public perception of the Leader of the one of the country's minor political parties, the Ruth Davidson Party, into page 4 news across a wide range of media outlets.

Our experienced team developed a multi-faceted campaign which created a laser like focus on the key policy elements of the Ruth Davidson Party which were preventing it being taken seriously as an intellectual or political force and removed them from public debate.

Stage One:
Creating a public engagement strategy which was both vibrant and vacuous, colourful yet incoherent was one that our team tackled head on.  We identified that the public saw the current Ruth Davidson Party members as pointless crackpots, weird, dangerous and downright nasty so our decision was to ensure that as few of them as possible were seen or heard. Once we had neutralised the madder elements of the party we moved on to...

Stage Two:
Far more challenging in the modern media environment was taking the only part of the Ruth Davidson Party which was viewed by the public as laughable rather grotesquely vindictive and use that to recalibrate the public perception.  With the help of our well placed media contacts we were able to recast our clients as the stupid party. A series of ridiculous photo-ops was organised and received massive unquestioned exposure across the mainstream print and broadcast media which resulted in...

Stage Three:
By casting the Ruth Davidson Party as a "not-a-government, policy-lite, anti-indyref-till-we-die, we-love-the-colour-orange, David-Cameron?-never-heard-of him", Great-British-Bake-Off" party we were successful in persuading less than a quarter of the voters to support them at the polls. This allowed implementation of...

Stage Five:
Perhaps the most audacious move but possible because of the uncritical support of the nations worst papers the Ruth Davidson Party could claim a "mandate" and make "demands" which even though they would be ridiculed and ignored by the actual winners of the election would give the appearance of political success.

Stage Six:
Our invoice is submitted for payment.

The Poll-A-Rater

Fed up of commissioning opinion polls which come back with the “wrong” results?

Need a helpful opinion poll result to back up your scare stories?

Are your voters losing their fear of change?

You need our new “Poll-A-Rater”!

The “Poll-A-Rater” can deliver worrying data – instantly. Now you can have confidence shaking results designed to match your requirements. We use a series of carefully designed statistical weighting algorithms to ensure that you get the results you need.

With the “Poll-A-Rater” you’ll be able to back up your unsubstantiated falsehoods with apparently supportive data – reams of it!

You’ll be able to;

· confirm high levels of concern over imaginary problems

· detect low levels of confidence in the answers to unanswerable questions

· create hypothetical fears over tendentious propositions

· combine small worries into single overwhelming terrors

The“Poll-A-Rater” also comes complete with lots of complex tables which will help prove that your conclusions are fully supported by the data – whatever they are!

You can also upgrade to the Black is White executive package get even more misleading answers to the questions no one is asking.