INCREDIBLE BARGAINS IN THE SALE OF THE YEAR!
With a UK General Election and a possible EU In-Out Referendum just around the corner the Scottish Scaremonger need to make room for exciting new ranges of frights and scares to provide our renowned levels of service to both existing and new customers across this "family of cowering nations".
The Scaremonger Clearance Sale offers you the chance to pick up top quality scares at rock-bottom prices. Of course stocks will be limited, demand strong and filled on a "first come first served" basis so please order soon to avoid disappointment.
Clearance Offers Include;
"Secret" Dossiers: Beautifully presented "secret" dossiers. Each dossier comes with dramatic "Top Secret" stamps, unflattering black and white photos of a Scottish Cabinet Minister and carefully redacted reports. Other pages are blank for your own content.
North Sea Oil Reserve Estimates: A range of authoritative estimates with options from "gloomy" to "despairing". The report can be combined with our customisable "barrel price" product for even greater depressive effect.
Supermarket Till Receipts: Ideal for kids! Playing at shops has never been so scary. Watch the kids faces fall when they see how much milk costs in Ireland!
Head Office Relocation Kits: Each kit contains one brass plate with four screws together with a solicitors letter.