Monday 25 August 2014

"BellyFire" - Brain Fuel for Scary Speakers

A recipe as old as fear itself.

If you have a idea that's hard to defend.
If the facts leave you on a "sticky wicket".
If the sight and sound of you speaking makes listeners and watchers worry about your health.
If even your friends find it hard to say nice things about you.
If you just need help.

"BellyFire"  is a Highland themed liquor which guarantees you have plenty of the sparky verbal aggression and deflective shoutiness  which ensures that reasoned argument will never be required.

A secret handed down from generation to generation the recipe for "BellyFire" is kept safely under lock and key in a Highland  "But 'n Ben" styled safety deposit box in London.

Distilled from pure hogwash, local - just like Scottish - authentic tap water, and refined British schmaltz "BellyFire" gives even the most lacklustre speaker the power to dissemble for Britain!

100% unnatural flavourings provide the unique flavours of "BellyFire". Rare herbs and aromatic plants  are sourced from across the wastelands of Scotland for use in the secret "BellyFire" process.
Traditional herbs and little known plants such as Dog Whistle,  Snakeshead, Blue Weed, Nodding Thistles, Slippery Elm, Donkey Ear, Devils Eyebrows, Brassy Farthing and Slippery Nothing are carefully gathered by our bused in paid volunteers and the extracts carefully utilised to provide the distinctive flavours of "BellyFire".

Exclusive - "BellyFire"  Highland themed liquor is available only from the Scottish Scaremonger.

Limited stock - order today to avoid disappointment.

No comments:

Post a Comment