Friday, 15 March 2013
Monday, 4 March 2013
Wednesday, 27 February 2013
Going Fishing??
Organizing a fishing expedition to the Continent? The don't forget to visit our Country Sports department, where our experienced assistant Glen 'The Eel' Campbell will always be ready to go that extra mile in his efforts to discover the unvarnished truth about Scotland's EU membership in the event that the country votes 'Yes' to "leaving the UK". Ever wondered what the Latvian foreign minister's thoughts are on the subject? Or his Irish equivalent? Don't worry. Glen's been touring the capital cities of Europe and asking the right loaded questions of those foreign politicians. He'll push the boat out in his efforts to make your trip enjoyable by ensuring that you have the right gear, permits and passport information for when Scotland is cast fully adrift in the stormy seas of doubt and uncertainty by the Yes Campaign's unprincipled efforts to rip us out of Britain, divorcing us from friends and family, poisoning our rivers and laying waste to the land.
Organizing a fishing expedition to the Continent? The don't forget to visit our Country Sports department, where our experienced assistant Glen 'The Eel' Campbell will always be ready to go that extra mile in his efforts to discover the unvarnished truth about Scotland's EU membership in the event that the country votes 'Yes' to "leaving the UK". Ever wondered what the Latvian foreign minister's thoughts are on the subject? Or his Irish equivalent? Don't worry. Glen's been touring the capital cities of Europe and asking the right loaded questions of those foreign politicians. He'll push the boat out in his efforts to make your trip enjoyable by ensuring that you have the right gear, permits and passport information for when Scotland is cast fully adrift in the stormy seas of doubt and uncertainty by the Yes Campaign's unprincipled efforts to rip us out of Britain, divorcing us from friends and family, poisoning our rivers and laying waste to the land.
Saturday, 5 January 2013
Sarwar's Almanac 2013 : credible predictions for the year ahead
* The No campaign will co-opt the Mayan elders as campaign advisers - their invaluable experience in doom-laden predictions will dovetail perfectly with our own balanced view of the dangers of Separation.
* The spirit of Nostradamus combined with the sage advice of UK Treasury mandarins will provide peer-reviewed evidence that Scotland's economy will immediately collapse and its people be condemned to eternal penury in the case of a Yes vote in 2014.
* The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse will be employed for Better Together leaflet delivery (with a contract extension option for post-vote retribution).
* The No campaign will co-opt the Mayan elders as campaign advisers - their invaluable experience in doom-laden predictions will dovetail perfectly with our own balanced view of the dangers of Separation.
* The spirit of Nostradamus combined with the sage advice of UK Treasury mandarins will provide peer-reviewed evidence that Scotland's economy will immediately collapse and its people be condemned to eternal penury in the case of a Yes vote in 2014.
* The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse will be employed for Better Together leaflet delivery (with a contract extension option for post-vote retribution).
Monday, 24 December 2012
Christmas Special
"Union Crackers" : A special Christmas novelty item designed to disappoint your friends and neighbours. Each cracker contains a depressing motto (examples include "there no more oil", "the English will bomb your airports", "show us your passport" and a recycled cliche). Each cracker also includes an edible hat (eat before end 2014).
"Union Crackers" : A special Christmas novelty item designed to disappoint your friends and neighbours. Each cracker contains a depressing motto (examples include "there no more oil", "the English will bomb your airports", "show us your passport" and a recycled cliche). Each cracker also includes an edible hat (eat before end 2014).
Wednesday, 31 October 2012
Gardening Department Special Offer
STRAW MEN
Last few remaining in stock
These top quality "straw men" really must go. Straw Men have been best-sellers at the Scaremongers for many years and our customers love them. Multi-purpose and crafted from top quality man-made-up fibre. The bottom of the "Straw Man" is carefully weighted with unsold copies of the Scottish Select Committee's report on separation so you can knock your "Straw Man" Down as often as you like and he will get right back up again.
All your favourite "Straw Men" are available including old favourites such as;
"Johnny English Passport Required"
"Admiral "I see no ships" McNelson"
£25.00 each (no euros )
STRAW MEN
Last few remaining in stock
These top quality "straw men" really must go. Straw Men have been best-sellers at the Scaremongers for many years and our customers love them. Multi-purpose and crafted from top quality man-made-up fibre. The bottom of the "Straw Man" is carefully weighted with unsold copies of the Scottish Select Committee's report on separation so you can knock your "Straw Man" Down as often as you like and he will get right back up again.
All your favourite "Straw Men" are available including old favourites such as;
"Johnny English Passport Required"
"Admiral "I see no ships" McNelson"
£25.00 each (no euros )
Saturday, 27 October 2012
In our Clothing Department Now!!
'THE LAMENT' SHROUD-WAVING RANGE
We've been making our highly sought after shrouds since 1707. Wear one of these and you'll instantly garner more unwarranted support for the unionist cause. This new line incorporates everything that any 'Bitter Together' British nationalist would want in the run-up to Salmond's break-up referendum:
* Dull and shapeless, will suit any moribund unionist.
* Sleepwalk to the separation vote in our fetching raiment!
* Fully biodegradable, guaranteed until autumn 2014.
* Anas Sarwar says: "That's just not credible. I wouldn't be seen dead without one!"
* Media version available, as modelled by Alan Cochrane, Kaye Adams, Michael Kelly, Kirsty Wark, Tom Peterkin, Alf Young, Angus McLeod, Gordon Brewer, Lorraine Davidson, Magnus Gardham etc, etc.
WAVE YOURS WITH PRIDE!!
'THE LAMENT' SHROUD-WAVING RANGE
We've been making our highly sought after shrouds since 1707. Wear one of these and you'll instantly garner more unwarranted support for the unionist cause. This new line incorporates everything that any 'Bitter Together' British nationalist would want in the run-up to Salmond's break-up referendum:
* Dull and shapeless, will suit any moribund unionist.
* Sleepwalk to the separation vote in our fetching raiment!
* Fully biodegradable, guaranteed until autumn 2014.
* Anas Sarwar says: "
* Media version available, as modelled by Alan Cochrane, Kaye Adams, Michael Kelly, Kirsty Wark, Tom Peterkin, Alf Young, Angus McLeod, Gordon Brewer, Lorraine Davidson, Magnus Gardham etc, etc.
WAVE YOURS WITH PRIDE!!
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