Tuesday 9 December 2014

Wave Powered Blame Machine

Labour, Conservative and LibDem politicians have united to back the Scottish Scaremonger call for the Scottish Government to back the exciting new environmentally friendly technology which powers the cutting edge "Wave Blame Machine".

LibDem spokesman Angus Nomark claimed that the Scottish government was refusing to back the scheme because one of the scientists behind the project had voted No in the referendum. " I don't know if that's true but its the sort of thing Willie Rennie would say" said Mr Nomark.

Designer of the "Wave Blame Machine" Professor Eileen Wrightward of the Institute of Mechanical Unity claims it can "harness the power of the sea to generate stories blaming the SNP, Scottish Government and other elements of the Yes movement for things that have gone wrong or might go wrong or might be claimed to have gone wrong even if they have gone right". 

Opposition parties claim that if successful the "Wave Blame Machine" would free up countless journalists to concentrate on breathless reporting of Jim Murphy's photo opportunities and press releases. Others would be available to write important pieces explaining that Ruth Davidson has become Scotland's most popular and respected politician since the beginning of recorded history or that Willie Rennie is still there.

No one from the Scottish Government could be bothered to comment.

1 comment: