Edinburgh Festival Special

"THE BEST OF THE FEST" 

With thousands of shows to choose from at this year's Edinburgh Festivals The Scaremonger  has some suggestions of shows we believe will appeal to our customers.  

Street Theatre: "Not-So-Sunny Jim" - our favourite street performer returns. "Shouting at strangers has never sounded so angry"

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Drama: 40 Angry Men - a new play with an ensemble cast of well known and not so well known faces explore the challenges faced by the newly unemployed in an unsympathetic benefits system.

Opera: The Cunning Little Vixen - a new production of this classic tale of intrigue as the eponymous heroine plots the destruction of her historic foes.

Drama: A Tale of Two Cities: A new adaptation of the classic novel. Ruth must decide, East or West? Edinburgh or Glasgow? Cynical carpet-bagging opportunism or hard headed calculation?

Musical Theatre: '"Labour in Scotland - The Musical!"

Don't miss 'Labour in Scotland - The Musical'! You'll be singing and dancing in the aisles as our ex-MPs and staffers cast reprise all the old favourites, including: 'Feeble Forty', 'Donkey With A Red Rosette', 'Last Gravy Train To Westminster', 'Branch Office', 'Too Wee, Too Poor, Too Stupid', 'All I Want For Christmas Is My Gold-Plated Pension', 'R-E-D-T-O-R-Y', I'm Talking About A Triangulation Revolution'. Plus the smash new hits 'SNPbad!', 'Hegemony Blues' and just released, 'Jumping On The Corbyn Bandwagon'.

Ballet and Dance: The Rite of Spring - The annual humiliation of the opposition is captured in this magical ballet. Certain to delight young and old alike.

http://cliparts.co/clipart/2465529

The Abstention Handbook

THE ABSTENTION HANDBOOK

Packed with useful tips and strategies the Scaremonger Abstention Handbook will help you navigate through the complex maze of issues where you might be tempted to reveal your true position on controversial policy issues.

The Abstention Handbook is available in both print and ebook editions.

Easy to read and understand, the Abstention Handbook is a crucial tool already being used daily by the leaders of the Labour Party in Westminster.

*Subscribers to the ebook edition will also receive free updates with new pages being added automatically

Labour Leadership Kit

LABOUR LEADERSHIP KIT

With nominations now closed The Scaremonger is pleased to announce that we can now supply our exclusive 

"Labour Leadership Kit" 

No would-be Labour leader will want to try and tackle this most thankless of tasks without the best possible advice and equipment. The Scaremonger "Labour Leadership Kit" includes a range of helpful items including;

• Parliamentary Invisibility Cloak
• Map of  Nowheresville and Shit Creek County
• Canoe (no paddles included)
• No picnic
• Set of Lang Spoons
• Brown Trousers
• Snakeskin Gloves
• Poison Chalice
• Pack of Cards with additional jokers
• Tin Ear
• Key to a darkened room
• Pair of incompetence pants
• A New Broom with replaceable head and handle
• A stab proof frontless vest
• Union Tie (optional)
• An unused policy forum
• Knee protectors
• Copy of the "Jim Murphy Guide to Electoral Success"
• Laminated copy of the Scottish Labour Westminster MP Group directory 

The Alistair Carmichael Songbook

"Do You Want to Know a Secret"

"Careless Whispers"

"Telephone Line"

"Karma-Charmichaeleon"

"Would I lie to You?"

"Tellin' Stories"

"Secret Island"

"The Great Pretender"

"Headlines"

You Haven't Done Nothin'

"I've Got a Feeling I'm Falling"

"Jump"

and many, many more!

Order "The Alistair Carmichael Songbook" today and receive an exclusive commemorative flexidisc of the forthcoming audiobook "The Scottish Labour Manifesto 2015 as written by William McGonagall and read in the style of Molly Weir"

Clearance Sale!

DON'T MISS OUT ON THE GREAT BARGAINS IN THE SCAREMONGER POST-ELECTION SALE!

Our famous post-election clearance sale will include some amazing and often to be repeated bargains including;

• "Scottish" Labour, LibDem, Conservative and UKIP* Manifestos 

Barely Read!

These mint condition publications have been carefully printed and published but are now available in pristine unread condition.

*Please note that the UKIP Manifesto will be printed on top quality Asda 'Basics' copier paper and hand stapled by highly skilled British workers!...Honest.

• The Jim Murphy Shirt Collection

A great chance to snap up one of "sunny" Jim's sweaty old "fitba" tops. Ideal for lad orientated photo ops! 

• Genuine "handwritten" Letters

There's nothing more convincing than a personal letter from your local candidate. The Scaremonger has a large supply of generic voter ready "handwritten" letters suitable for any future campaign.

•  Dodgy Graphs

Some say that politics needs more straight talking and honesty. At the Scaremonger we believe that one essential ingredient to any campaign is a steady supply of misleading and downright dodgy graphs...and we've got loads available at giveaway prices!

and much, much more. 

Remember - these bargains will be gone soon so order today to ensure you don't miss out.

Crowd Control Pack

Crowd Control Technology

Large crowds of supporters can present political campaigners with real difficulties. Not only are the crowds colourful and liable to attract even more people to your event they can also be boisterous and distracting. 

Expert advice is clear - crowds should be just large enough to provide a colourful background but never too big. 

The Scaremonger "Crowd Control Pack" has been successfully used by numerous campaigners throughout this General Election campaign and in last years Scottish Separation  referendum. 

See the Scaremonger "Crowd Control Pack" at work in Glasgow and Edinburgh in these campaign pictures;

Crowds are maintained at the optimum level

Media management enhanced

                     

Public engagement risks minimised

Meanwhile politicians who don't use this scaremonger exclusive product risk letting their message go unheard;

Shambolic  over-engagement

SNP  Leader - Getting it all wrong.

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Simply too popular!

Rule-It-Out Coalition Contra-indicator

"Rule It Out" - The Coalition Contra-indicator 

* Election Special Offer

* Ideal Campaigning Tool

* "Tory-Tech" Technolgy
* Optimised for post-referendum scenarios  

The "Rule-It-Out" campaign tool combines proven traditional campaign techniques with cutting edge technology to provide campaigners with a quick and simple method to decide which non existent coalition possibilities to rule out.

When confronted with a tricky potential coalition proposition the user simply calibrates the "Rule-It-Out" and the optimum  "Rule-It-Out" solution is displayed. 

The "Rule-It-Out" Coalition Contra-indicator is available in both pocket sized or desk top versions.