Labour Leadership Kit

LABOUR LEADERSHIP KIT

With nominations now closed The Scaremonger is pleased to announce that we can now supply our exclusive 

"Labour Leadership Kit" 

No would-be Labour leader will want to try and tackle this most thankless of tasks without the best possible advice and equipment. The Scaremonger "Labour Leadership Kit" includes a range of helpful items including;

• Parliamentary Invisibility Cloak
• Map of  Nowheresville and Shit Creek County
• Canoe (no paddles included)
• No picnic
• Set of Lang Spoons
• Brown Trousers
• Snakeskin Gloves
• Poison Chalice
• Pack of Cards with additional jokers
• Tin Ear
• Key to a darkened room
• Pair of incompetence pants
• A New Broom with replaceable head and handle
• A stab proof frontless vest
• Union Tie (optional)
• An unused policy forum
• Knee protectors
• Copy of the "Jim Murphy Guide to Electoral Success"
• Laminated copy of the Scottish Labour Westminster MP Group directory 

Labour Leadership Kit-

Scottish Labour Leadership Kit

Running for Leader?     Need to impress with your leadership skills?     Desperate?

The all-new Scaremonger Scottish Labour Leadership Kit will provide you with everything you need to impress the tens of voters you'll need to secure the leadership of the Labour Party's Scottish section. 

A strictly limited edition, the Scaremonger Labour Leadership Kit comes carefully vacuum packed in a specially designed handcart style souvenir box embossed with the telephone number of the Labour HQ in London. 

Each kit includes;

• Crocodile Tear Shoes - ideal for campaign visits to busy food banks 
• Soft Soap Gift Box - smooths rough edges and difficult moments 
• "Miss Me Quip Hat" - unique sense of humour by-pass headgear
• Apology Template Slider - compose sincere apologies for every occasion
• "London Road" Knee-Pads - essential protective gear  
• Backstabber Vest - extra reinforcement across the shoulder blades
• Disloyalty Card - earn points to redeem on exclusive gifts

Order the Scottish Labour Leadership Kit today and get a free tub of  AD Vanishing Cream - "it's perfect Darling!"