LABOUR LEADERSHIP KIT
With nominations now closed The Scaremonger is pleased to announce that we can now supply our exclusive
"Labour Leadership Kit"
No would-be Labour leader will want to try and tackle this most thankless of tasks without the best possible advice and equipment. The Scaremonger "Labour Leadership Kit" includes a range of helpful items including;
- Parliamentary Invisibility Cloak
- Map of Nowheresville and Shit Creek County
- Canoe (no paddles included)
- No picnic
- Set of Lang Spoons
- Brown Trousers
- Snakeskin Gloves
- Poison Chalice
- Pack of Cards with additional jokers
- Tin Ear
- Key to a darkened room
- Pair of incompetence pants
- A New Broom with replaceable head and handle
- A stab proof frontless vest
- Union Tie (optional)
- An unused policy forum
- Knee protectors
- Copy of the "Jim Murphy Guide to Electoral Success"
- Laminated copy of the Scottish Labour Westminster MP Group directory